


What Comes After Truth

by Vesperidian



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 10:47:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20581241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vesperidian/pseuds/Vesperidian
Summary: "Lena Luthor knew that the truth was going to come out when she unlocked her office door to see Kara Danvers leaning on the balcony railing, chinos and duck-print cardigan washed a rosy pink by the descending sun." My take on the reveal if Kara had gotten to tell Lena herself... with a little twist.





	What Comes After Truth

Lena Luthor knew that the truth was going to come out when she unlocked her office door to see Kara Danvers leaning on the balcony railing, chinos and duck-print cardigan washed a rosy pink by the descending sun. Her heart thumped heavily as she approached.

"I know investigative journalists have an innate disdain for locks, darling, but I didn't realize Kara Lawful Perfect Danvers would cave to peer pressure. Been practicing on my doors?" Lena arched an eyebrow as she moved in next to Kara, hoping it would distract from the high pitch of her voice and the rapid pounding of her heart.

"Lena!" Kara turned and folded Lena in a hug, pressing her hands flat on her back while Lena tucked her face into the shelter of her friend's chest. It might not be what she thought. It might not. There might be more time. "I - I, um, no, not at all," Kara continued as she pulled away, fiddling with her glasses. She pulled her hand away jerkily, clenching and unclenching it at her side. "I - actually, that's what I came here to explain. Could we sit down?" She waved an arm vaguely at the couch in the office.

Lena's pulse jumped higher, and she crossed her arms reflexively. This was it. It was happening. God. Did it have to? Was it really necessary? Why couldn’t they just go on as they were? The slight bite of her nails digging into her skin grounded her racing mind. "Honestly, Kara, you know I don't actually mind. I have nothing to hide, and I trust you. No need for an explanation!" She finished with a high bite of cheer that sounded false even to her own ears.

Kara's face fell at her words, and, really, what was she expecting? Why did she mention trust? "No, no… Lena, I really need to talk to you about something. It's - I've put it off way, way too long."

Her ears were ringing. She stared down at her crossed arms, fidgeting in place until Kara placed a warm palm low on her back and ushered her into the office and toward the couch. Her eyes fixed on the minibar, and her brain snapped back into action.

"Can I get you something?" she said, striding swiftly out of Kara's reach and over to the comforting bottle of scotch. "I know you don't usually take alcohol, but I had Jess buy some chocolate milk the other day. Or I have some orange juice, maybe even some coke?" Her hands shook as she poured, clattering the bottle against the rim of her tumbler as the amber liquid splashed out. "And of course I have water, tap or bottled, if you have any preference, I can't quite -"

"Lena." Kara was suddenly behind her, resting her hands comfortingly on her shoulders. "Slow down, sweetie, slow down. It's ok." Lena's shoulders slumped forward as Kara's strong fingers massaged at the absolute slabs of tension there, which Lena could already feel winding up a massive headache for about fifteen minutes later. "Wow, are you ok? I promise it's not - well, I mean, it is - I - um - we should probably just sit down and get this over with."

She guided Lena over to the couch, her blue eyes creased worriedly at her behind her - no, not behind her glasses. Her glasses were gone, tucked away into the pocket of her cardigan. God, she was such a nerd.

Kara settled lightly down on the couch beside her, snapping her out of her welcome reverie into Kara's adorable dorkiness. Her hand extended up as though to fiddle with her glasses, then pulled back and hovered awkwardly for a moment before settling into her lap, clenched into a fist. Lena blinked down at it, the ringing in her ears and tightness in her chest making it difficult to meet Kara's eyes.

"Before I start, I just want to say that the fact that I waited so long to tell you about this has nothing to do with my trust in you or how much you mean to me," Kara rushed out, her voice growing stronger and more resolved the more she spoke. "I just - there were a lot of reasons not to tell you, but recently I've realized that I was using them as an excuse to distract from my real reason, which was entirely selfish. I was entirely self-centered in keeping this from you, I wasn't thinking about what you would want, or what you deserved, or what -"

"Kara, you haven't told me yet," Lena heard herself say, looking up and getting caught by Kara's clear, earnest blue gaze.

"Oh, yes, right. OK. Um. Um, well, I guess, this is probably the best way to do this." Kara's hands, shaking, hovered at the buttons of her cardigan. She took a deep breath and then marched her fingers down the chunky wooden buttons of her periwinkle cardigan and then onto the small, clear ones of the buttery button-up underneath. As the shirt parted, Lena blinked, barely breathing, feeling almost submerged in muffling water, and the deep blue fabric of the suit beneath peeked out. She finished by pulling the shirt out of its tuck to fully reveal the crest.

"So, yeah… I'm Supergirl." Lena found her hand had reached out, the tips of her fingertips brushing against the suit's textured fabric and down onto the smooth crest. It was over. It was all over. "I know it was incredibly inappropriate for me not to tell you considering how important you are to me and considering how many times we met while I was there as Supergirl, _and _how many times I had to run out of our lunches for Supergirl stuff. I just want you to know that I totally regret not letting you, and I'm incredibly sorry that I didn't tell you after we became friends. You are my best friend, you're basically the most important person in my life, the person I can talk to when I can't talk to anyone else, and that should have mean that you would be the _easiest _person to tell, but actually it meant that you were the _hardest _person for me to tell. I guess I just didn't want to risk losing what we had, not that I thought you would end our friendship just because I was Supergirl, although I know that now after years of not being honest with you might want to end our friendship on those grounds and that would be totally justified if you did. I mean that I didn't want to lose the way that we interacted, or the way that you thought of me. You saw me as _Kara, _your _friend_, saw me for the things I said and did _for you, _not as Supergirl, defender of National City. No one else sees me that way anymore, as just me, and I didn't want to give that up, and it was SO important to me. It made me feel so seen to not have to be bulletproof, to have someone feel like I might need to be taken care of or protected. Although I _am _bulletproof, I still sometimes need to be taken care of, you know? But that doesn't -"

"Kara." Lena swallowed past the lump in her throat, feeling a heavy sigh build in her chest. "Kara, you don't have to apologize to me. I get it. I know what it's like to feel as though people see the real you better when they don't know quite everything. It's ok."

Kara blinked at her, mouth gaping. "Really? Just like that?"

"Just like that," Lena answered with a feeble smile.

Kara frowned. "Lena… that doesn't seem totally healthy, sweetie. You know that you don't have to forgive me, right? Not now, or, you know, even ever. You're allowed to be upset at me about this, it was a total violation of the trust between us."

Lena laid a hand on Kara's knee, gripping lightly. "Seriously, Kara, it's not like that. I understand. I admit that I got a little snippy when we had our differences over kryptonite, but I honestly never resented you for not telling me. You don't owe anyone your secret. You get to decide who finds out and when. I get it. I mean - I mean, you're -" Lena's throat caught, her heartbeat climbing back into her throat. "You're not the only one with a secret."

"I'm not?" Kara tilted her head, and Lena choked on a laugh. She really was a golden retriever. "Do you mean the kryptonite thing? Because I know we probably need to talk about that again now that we both know every- wait. Wait, you knew? Always?"

"Kara, your disguise is a pair of glasses, a hairstyle, and a persona, and I design transgalactic teleportation devices. Did you really think I wouldn't figure it out? You 'flew here on a bus?'"

Color stained Kara's cheeks. "That - that makes sense. But you never brought it up?"

"I hinted, every now and then," Lena shot back. "Just to tease you a little. But I wasn't going to push. Like I said, I know what it's like to have a secret you'd prefer not to share. And no, I'm not talking about the fact that I made kryptonite to counter an insane living weapon of war."

Kara's blue eyes blinked steadily at her. "Then… what were you talking about? If you're ready to share it…? Which you don't have to, I just thought, since you did bring it up, maybe you wanted to…?"

Lena laughed bitterly, leaning back into the couch. "Well, it's not something I really ever wanted to discuss, but I've always known that this conversation was inevitable. My promise to myself was that I would tell you mine when you told me yours. And I know that it will help bring us closer if you know, and I'll feel better if you know this about me, but I just… I wish it didn't have to happen. More because I wish the secret didn't exist than anything else." She rolled her eyes, shrugging her shoulders fatalistically.

"Hey," Kara said and pulled her close, tucking her under her arm and rubbing her arm gently. "You've got nothing to worry about from me. I don't think there's anything you could say that would change how important you are to me - I mean, we've been through the kryptonite thing already, and we got through that, so I think we'll be ok. So if you're ready - and you don't have to be! - I'd love to hear what you have to say."

"No, I don't want to put this off any longer. Too awkward now that you know there's something there. Let's… just get this over with." She pulled back, turning to face Kara on the cushion. She drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly and clearing her mind to center herself. Kara's hand crept out to take hers, tracing patterns in her palm.

"So… the thing is. The thing is, I am…" Kara squeezed her hand, and Lena looked down to see that she was clenching right back. Her eyes darted back up to Kara's, sinking deep into their clear blueness. She sighed heavily.

"The thing is, I'm transgender."

Her eyes immediately tore away from Kara's, staring down at their joined hands while tears pricked in their corners. It was over. The truth was finally out.

"Oh… oh. Really?" Kara's voice sounded bemused, and definitely surprised. "I never would have guessed. You have such - uh, I mean, you've never even hinted at anything like that. Nia talks about it really openly. Wait, does Nia know? You two must have so much in common! All the same, uh, surgeries? And everything. Should I have not mentioned surgeries? I probably shouldn't have, oh, shoot, Lena -"

Lena laughed. "You're the first person I've ever told, aside from family or therapists. And Nia and I have surprisingly little in common when it comes to this. For one thing, I actually haven't had any surgeries." She glanced up to see Kara's mouth gaping open in surprise and then snapping shut in a botched attempt to disguise it. "I have had plenty of electrolysis, but I doubt Nia has. She transitioned as a child, so she most likely had puberty blockers when the time came to prevent facial hair in the first place. And, yeah, she's very proud of being trans. It's an important part of her identity. I can't say I feel the same way."

"You mean you feel ashamed?" Kara's eyes looked practically heartbroken at the thought of Lena loving herself with anything less than 100% of the gusto she could muster.

"No, no not really. I'm not _ashamed _of being trans, it just doesn't feel like part of my identity." Lena's heart was steadying now, the worst over, and she drank in Kara's interest and concern like water for her parched heart as she continued. "It feels… like a reality. Not a word that I would list to describe myself, the way I would with 'scientist' or 'woman,' but something that's true nevertheless. I suppose I think of it as a physical deformity more than anything else."

"Lena! Lena, sweetie, no -" Kara's hand left hers to wrap her arm back around her shoulders and pull her in close, murmuring outraged, heart stricken words into her hair. "Lena there's nothing deformed about you! You are perfect! I'm so sorry that you've been thinking that way about yourself, you're _so _-"

Lena wiped at the tears welling in the corners of her eyes. Kara's affirmation was always a little much for her fragile self-esteem to handle. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean - It's not like that, Kara! I've struggled a lot with accepting and loving my body in the past, but I _do _now, I very much do! It's just… certain areas. When I finally get surgery I probably won't feel that way anymore. Maybe I'll even be proud to be trans, like Nia. I just can't say that right now."

The two of them shared a quiet few minutes there on the couch, watching the sun sink into the ocean and the sky turn from mauve to a deep, bruised purple. Kara's arm, wrapped firmly around Lena's waist, stroked steadily up and down her side.

"If you don't mind sharing, why haven't you - uh - had surgery yet?" Kara asked softly. "I mean, money's not an issue for you, right?"

Lena shook her head into Kara's chest. "No, of course not. But really, Kara," she said, looking up into her curious face. "When in the last four years would have been a good time for me to take a six week break from life to recover from a majorly invasive surgery?"

Kara blushed, and Lena could see her wanting to reach up and fiddle with her glasses. "That's - wow, that is an intense surgery. There really hasn't been a time you could have done that safely, what with - everything. I didn't know that it was - I mean, I guess I don't really know which - um, you don't have to -"

"I'm talking about vaginoplasty, Kara," Lena stated with an arched eyebrow, and watched the blush spread rapidly out across Kara's cheekbones and down to her neck.

"Right, that's, well_, golly, _definitely a big surgery!" Kara tripped over her own words, finishing with a big smile to fight the awkwardness.

"Definitely," Lena agreed with a dry chuckle. "Look, Kara, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I just felt as though… you saw me more accurately if you _didn't _know. And I didn't want to give that up by telling you the truth, even though you're my best friend and I did want to be close with you."

Kara squeezed her shoulder tightly. "It's like we said before: sometimes it's hardest to tell the people we're closest to. I understand, Lena. And I want you to know, this doesn't change how I see you in the slightest, I mean the absolute _slightest_! You're still the same woman I've always known you as. Nothing could ever change that. You're my best friend."

But as Kara's hand drifted into her hair and began massaging her scalp to ease the tension headache she knew without words was building there after such a stressful conversation, Lena couldn't help but wonder whether their feelings were entirely friendly… or would stay that way, even if they were. Secrets had held them apart for years. With those gone, and the truth out… where would their friendship go? What would come after truth?

_Stop deluding yourself, _she thought drowsily, snuggling deeper into Kara as she removed her hand from her hair, barely noticing as Kara scooped her up into her arms and drifted out the window into the night sky. _We're best friends, and that's all. That's all._

**Author's Note:**

> Well, there we have it. I have plenty more planned (mostly smut), but we'll see when I get to it and if people are interested.
> 
> If you enjoyed, let me know! Over on wake-forest . tumblr . com / 
> 
> :)


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